Helpful Tips for Super Lonely People :You’ve felt it—down about your last Instagram post’s comments or that no one gets you. Perhaps ironically, everyone feels lonely.What’s loneliness, exactly? Simply defined, “it’s the discrepancy between what you have and what you want from your relationships,” explains University of Chicago assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience Stephanie Cacioppo, PhD, who studies loneliness and social cognition.It’s about your mindset, not your surroundings—you may feel lonely among a crowd.

Helpful Tips for Super Lonely People

1. Admit you’re lonely.

• As with many things, admitting your problems is the first step to moving on.
• Most people deny being lonely or assume they’re nervous or sad.
• Why? “Because there’s a lot of stigma surrounding loneliness,” explains clinical psychologist, York University course director, and Loneliness, Love And All That’s Between author Ami Rokach, PhD.
• He adds that loneliness is associated with social isolation and otherness, therefore many people are ashamed to admit it.
• Refusing to accept your loneliness delays your chance to change.

2. Remind yourself it’s not just you.

• Rokach says we’re not alone in loneliness.
• Rokach warns against leaning into loneliness just because others are, too.
• It’s a good reminder that you can get out of this circumstance too.

3. Be realistic.

• There are ways to reduce loneliness, but they’re not infallible. “Sometimes you won’t succeed,” adds Rokach.
• It happens that others won’t want to connect, they’ll be too busy, or you’ll feel lonely.
• He says those times will be terrible, but you must continue.
• While you may not want to, if you approach loneliness as a win-some-lose-some game, you won’t give up as easily.

4. Don’t deny or distance.

• Rokach says a common reaction to loneliness’s embarrassed and self-critical thoughts is to convince yourself you don’t need anyone, things are better, and you’ll do well on your own.
• For a while, you might think that.
• Over time, this response will impair your emotional and physical health.
• Everyone needs people and love. Once you can identify your loneliness, you can take action.

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5. Write down positive memories.

• This is advice you’ve probably heard before but never followed. Now is the time to try.
• Cacioppo says 15 minutes a day of writing down special memories with friends and family might help you overcome unpleasant thoughts.
• (No 15 minutes? One Line A Day journals let you keep your favorite memories. The recollections will lift your spirits and remind you you’re not alone.

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